I've been missing a lot of things.

This evening, after trying to get myself over procrastination, I decided to open my blog and write. I have neglected this blog for almost six months and I won't spare you my excuses. I'm full of it. The reasons why I'm writing this post are because: 1) I miss blogging, 2) I need to practice writing, and 3) there are too much stuff going on in my mind and in my heart.

You know I'm such a deep thinker. Been stuck in my head these past few days, thinking about literally everything. Have you ever think there's something wrong with yourself and you desperately want to mend it but you don't know where to start and whom to tell because you're that stubborn?

I was in the state where I feel like all of my colors and creativity left me without warning. Was driving alone after class yesterday when I was thinking, "what if I could split myself into two?". It would be convenient, right? As I will have someone by my side when I need it and my other self can hear about my problem without judging or pretending cause practically, she feels what I feel. She would just sit there in the car, listening to me blabbering about life and then disappear since what I need aren't some great advice, but someone's presence beside me to listen, pat my head, and say it's okay to get lost. That I'm okay.

Ironically, while I want someone to be there beside me, all I have is my cold-hearted self. I think ain't nobody will understand. I think I'm misunderstood.

Too much negativity, aren't I?

Honestly, I don't even know why am I starting to write this and where it will end.

Honestly, I feel miserable right now.

I need to stop.

 

 

 

Editing by me. Pictures are not mine (from tumblr).

Anyway, rather than posting my photos here, I chose to put together some random pictures. I need to squeeze some creativity out of my brain first, before posting other stuff. Hope you like it!

Xx,

Firda